wreckless eric....

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grahamston
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by grahamston » Sunday 04th 2012f March 2012 11:06:45 AM

Right, today's story takes the biscuit. He's at risk (or we are?) of becoming an anti-hero. There's enough material for a film here, and a bloody good one. He's more Olly Reed than John Reid. He has a career in speaking at Sportsman's dinners one he leaves office.
Sunday Mail wrote:DISGRACED MP Eric Joyce confessed to being a thug, a drunk and a lecher in explosive taped conversations with a woman constituent. As he tried to seduce the married woman in his constituency office, Joyce dropped his guard and admitted to a series of violent incidents in his time in Parliament.

Joyce told how he confronted a would-be mugger on a London street, then spent six months regretting his failure to beat him up.

“This kid is a 60kg kind of guy, muscly and wide, and I’m be like 85kg, muscular, and it’s like, no problem,” he told the woman.

“I’m going to be nutting and punching and f***ing stuff like that.”

Joyce, who faces charges of assaulting three Tory MPs at the Strangers Bar in Parliament, admitted to his constituent that he “went seeking f***ing fights for a long time”.

And he told how he:

● BRAWLED in the street with two young men and a woman while spending Christmas alone, and lost his Commons security passes;

● STRIPPED naked while drunk at a London party hosted by a millionairess and ended up being thrown out;

● STOLE and crashed cars with pals in potentially lethal joyrides before becoming MP for Falkirk.

The woman also claimed that married Joyce confessed to a one-night stand with a Parliamentary researcher.

Joyce’s constituent went to him for help over a pensions row with her boss – but ended up having to fend off his advances as they drank wine in his office.

The Labour MP put on a James Morrison CD and told the woman she was “f***ing fabulous”, “f***ing gorgeous” and “enigmatic”.

And he admitted to a series of incidents that will shock his long-suffering constituents.

Joyce eagerly described his violent encounter with a youth who tried to mug him in Croydon, London.

He said the man “deliberately shouldered” him, then ran at him.


Joyce added: “This guy is trying to mug me and he’s got a little sharp thing. He’s going, ‘I’m going to knife you and kill you.’

“I’m like, ‘Bloody hell son, and oh by the way – I’m going to kill you.’

“But he’s black, and I worked for the Commission for Racial Equality. I let him go and he ran away.

“I hated myself for six months. I should have done him over. I woke up at night thinking, ‘You should have done him over.’”

Joyce didn’t always resist the impulse to get into fights. He told the woman of a brawl he got into while spending Christmas alone at a Perth hotel in 2006.

He said: “I was punching these guys in. They were punching me in the face and I still came at them.

“I just reverted to type.”

The woman recalled: “Eric said he had gone for a walk and got into an argument with them.

“He said that they looked at him the wrong way and he was in a mood for a fight anyway. His jacket was torn and he lost his Commons passes.”

Joyce also described his naked antics at the millionaire’s dinner party in London’s Notting Hill.

The woman recalled: “He had been drinking far too much and went berserk. Someone phoned the police and when the police turned up, he answered the door naked.

“He was told to put his clothes on and leave. He admitted to me that it wasn’t the way for a MP to behave.”


Joyce told his constituent that his wild behaviour began well before he was elected to Westminster in 2000. He said he even went on jaunts as a joyrider – an activity more common among yobs on tough estates.

He told the woman: “We actually stole the cars, drove them at high speed, and took them back.

“On a couple of occasions, we f***ing didnae put them back because we f***ing crashed them or blew them up.”

The constituent claims that Joyce also told her of a sexual encounter with a married Westminster researcher. She said: “He told me, ‘It was just the once, just to try it. But she felt quite guilty afterwards so we’ve decided not to do it again.’”

The constituent says she first met Joyce at a surgery in 2007. She says they then met more than 20 times, at his office in Denny, Stirlingshire, and in pubs.

She says once, when she arrived at the office, he had an open bottle of House of Commons white wine on the table.

And she says he told her: “I would offer you a glass but there isn’t really any left, and I don’t want to open another as I would just drink it.”

The woman added: “He had a full cabinet of House of Commons wine.

“I asked why he had so much and he said it was for raffle prizes. I said: ‘You seem to be winning first prize a lot.’”

The woman says Joyce made “no progress whatsoever” with her pension problem. She added: “He said he dealt with a ‘lot of dross’, like housing or Child Support Agency cases, whereas my case was important.

“But almost a year later, he still hadn’t arranged a meeting with the relevant minister or sent letters.

“Eric was incompetent. He is getting more than £65,000 a year and claiming hundreds of thousands of pounds in expenses for basically doing nothing.”

Joyce has told friends he will quit as an MP – but not until 2015. It appears he is keen to keep drawing his salary and expenses for a few more years.

His troubles deepened still further last week when the Daily Record revealed his close friendship with a schoolgirl who worked for his local party.

Friends of the 17-year-old said she had a full-blown affair with Joyce, 51, who is separated from wife Rosemary.

Joyce denied the relationship was sexual. He said: “I kind of got my communications with her wrong.”

Joyce’s constituent was shocked by the story about the teenager – and by the Commons bar incident.

“I didn’t realise Eric had sunk so low,” she said. “I feel sorry for his children and for the girl.”

Joyce did not respond last night to phone calls about the tapes.

Labour: Go, Eric...and go right now


Labour chiefs yesterday urged Joyce to resign immediately – even if it means a knife-edge by-election battle with the SNP.

Constituents in his Falkirk seat are outraged he is still clinging on after his relationship with a schoolgirl was revealed.

They say they have been left without an MP to represent their interests.

When Joyce was charged over his booze-fuelled rampage at the Commons, he went hillwalking rather than face the wrath of locals at his surgery.

And when Labour leader Johann Lamont disowned him over his relationship with the girl, he said he would quit – but not until 2015 when he will have picked up another £200,000 in salary.

Joyce, who has regularly topped the expenses list for MPs, cannot be forced out unless he is jailed for more than a year if found guilty of assault.

A senior Labour party source said: “The message on the ground is that the interests of his constituents are being forgotten about.

“Eric has to do the right thing and step down.

“We having nothing to fear from a by-election – the priority is to ensure constituents are represented by a hard-working MP.”

Joyce, who won the seat in 2010 with a greatly reduced majority of 8000 over the SNP’s John McNally, has been in trouble before.

In 2010, he was banned from driving for a year for failing to provide a breath test. He quit as shadow Northern Ireland minister over the case.

Joyce was banned for six months in 2008 after clocking up 12 points on his licence.

As a boy, he was expelled from two schools for assaulting female teachers.

Last year, he became the first MP to claim expenses of more than £200,000.

By the way, I'm going to kill you

I was walking in this pedestrian precinct in the centre of Croydon and this young black guy deliberately shouldered me. Most people are going to get a surprise because I’m dense and short and you’re going to get knocked out the way.

This young thug, 18 or 19, maybe even younger, runs back towards me. Clearly it was an early attempt at a mugging because he didn’t really know how to do it.

This kid is a 60kg kind of guy, muscly and wide, and I’m be like 85kg, muscular, and it is like no problem. I am going to be nutting and punching and f***ing stuff like that.

This guy is trying to mug me and he’s got a little sharp thing. He’s going, ‘I’m going to knife you and kill you.’

I’m like, ‘Bloody hell son, and oh by the way – I’m going to kill you.’

But he’s black, and I worked for the Commission for Racial Equality. I let him go and he ran away and jumped on a tram. I hated myself for six months. I should have done him over. I woke up at night thinking, ‘You should have done him over.’
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Kiddy » Sunday 04th 2012f March 2012 12:08:15 PM

grahamston wrote:Right, today's story takes the biscuit. He's at risk (or we are?) of becoming an anti-hero. There's enough material for a film here, and a bloody good one. He's more Olly Reed than John Reid. He has a career in speaking at Sportsman's dinners one he leaves office.
Sunday Mail wrote:DISGRACED MP Eric Joyce confessed to being a thug, a drunk and a lecher in explosive taped conversations with a woman constituent. As he tried to seduce the married woman in his constituency office, Joyce dropped his guard and admitted to a series of violent incidents in his time in Parliament.

Joyce told how he confronted a would-be mugger on a London street, then spent six months regretting his failure to beat him up.

“This kid is a 60kg kind of guy, muscly and wide, and I’m be like 85kg, muscular, and it’s like, no problem,” he told the woman.

“I’m going to be nutting and punching and f***ing stuff like that.”

Joyce, who faces charges of assaulting three Tory MPs at the Strangers Bar in Parliament, admitted to his constituent that he “went seeking f***ing fights for a long time”.

And he told how he:

● BRAWLED in the street with two young men and a woman while spending Christmas alone, and lost his Commons security passes;

● STRIPPED naked while drunk at a London party hosted by a millionairess and ended up being thrown out;

● STOLE and crashed cars with pals in potentially lethal joyrides before becoming MP for Falkirk.

The woman also claimed that married Joyce confessed to a one-night stand with a Parliamentary researcher.

Joyce’s constituent went to him for help over a pensions row with her boss – but ended up having to fend off his advances as they drank wine in his office.

The Labour MP put on a James Morrison CD and told the woman she was “f***ing fabulous”, “f***ing gorgeous” and “enigmatic”.

And he admitted to a series of incidents that will shock his long-suffering constituents.

Joyce eagerly described his violent encounter with a youth who tried to mug him in Croydon, London.

He said the man “deliberately shouldered” him, then ran at him.


Joyce added: “This guy is trying to mug me and he’s got a little sharp thing. He’s going, ‘I’m going to knife you and kill you.’

“I’m like, ‘Bloody hell son, and oh by the way – I’m going to kill you.’

“But he’s black, and I worked for the Commission for Racial Equality. I let him go and he ran away.

“I hated myself for six months. I should have done him over. I woke up at night thinking, ‘You should have done him over.’”

Joyce didn’t always resist the impulse to get into fights. He told the woman of a brawl he got into while spending Christmas alone at a Perth hotel in 2006.

He said: “I was punching these guys in. They were punching me in the face and I still came at them.

“I just reverted to type.”

The woman recalled: “Eric said he had gone for a walk and got into an argument with them.

“He said that they looked at him the wrong way and he was in a mood for a fight anyway. His jacket was torn and he lost his Commons passes.”

Joyce also described his naked antics at the millionaire’s dinner party in London’s Notting Hill.

The woman recalled: “He had been drinking far too much and went berserk. Someone phoned the police and when the police turned up, he answered the door naked.

“He was told to put his clothes on and leave. He admitted to me that it wasn’t the way for a MP to behave.”


Joyce told his constituent that his wild behaviour began well before he was elected to Westminster in 2000. He said he even went on jaunts as a joyrider – an activity more common among yobs on tough estates.

He told the woman: “We actually stole the cars, drove them at high speed, and took them back.

“On a couple of occasions, we f***ing didnae put them back because we f***ing crashed them or blew them up.”

The constituent claims that Joyce also told her of a sexual encounter with a married Westminster researcher. She said: “He told me, ‘It was just the once, just to try it. But she felt quite guilty afterwards so we’ve decided not to do it again.’”

The constituent says she first met Joyce at a surgery in 2007. She says they then met more than 20 times, at his office in Denny, Stirlingshire, and in pubs.

She says once, when she arrived at the office, he had an open bottle of House of Commons white wine on the table.

And she says he told her: “I would offer you a glass but there isn’t really any left, and I don’t want to open another as I would just drink it.”

The woman added: “He had a full cabinet of House of Commons wine.

“I asked why he had so much and he said it was for raffle prizes. I said: ‘You seem to be winning first prize a lot.’”

The woman says Joyce made “no progress whatsoever” with her pension problem. She added: “He said he dealt with a ‘lot of dross’, like housing or Child Support Agency cases, whereas my case was important.

“But almost a year later, he still hadn’t arranged a meeting with the relevant minister or sent letters.

“Eric was incompetent. He is getting more than £65,000 a year and claiming hundreds of thousands of pounds in expenses for basically doing nothing.”

Joyce has told friends he will quit as an MP – but not until 2015. It appears he is keen to keep drawing his salary and expenses for a few more years.

His troubles deepened still further last week when the Daily Record revealed his close friendship with a schoolgirl who worked for his local party.

Friends of the 17-year-old said she had a full-blown affair with Joyce, 51, who is separated from wife Rosemary.

Joyce denied the relationship was sexual. He said: “I kind of got my communications with her wrong.”

Joyce’s constituent was shocked by the story about the teenager – and by the Commons bar incident.

“I didn’t realise Eric had sunk so low,” she said. “I feel sorry for his children and for the girl.”

Joyce did not respond last night to phone calls about the tapes.

Labour: Go, Eric...and go right now


Labour chiefs yesterday urged Joyce to resign immediately – even if it means a knife-edge by-election battle with the SNP.

Constituents in his Falkirk seat are outraged he is still clinging on after his relationship with a schoolgirl was revealed.

They say they have been left without an MP to represent their interests.

When Joyce was charged over his booze-fuelled rampage at the Commons, he went hillwalking rather than face the wrath of locals at his surgery.

And when Labour leader Johann Lamont disowned him over his relationship with the girl, he said he would quit – but not until 2015 when he will have picked up another £200,000 in salary.

Joyce, who has regularly topped the expenses list for MPs, cannot be forced out unless he is jailed for more than a year if found guilty of assault.

A senior Labour party source said: “The message on the ground is that the interests of his constituents are being forgotten about.

“Eric has to do the right thing and step down.

“We having nothing to fear from a by-election – the priority is to ensure constituents are represented by a hard-working MP.”

Joyce, who won the seat in 2010 with a greatly reduced majority of 8000 over the SNP’s John McNally, has been in trouble before.

In 2010, he was banned from driving for a year for failing to provide a breath test. He quit as shadow Northern Ireland minister over the case.

Joyce was banned for six months in 2008 after clocking up 12 points on his licence.

As a boy, he was expelled from two schools for assaulting female teachers.

Last year, he became the first MP to claim expenses of more than £200,000.

By the way, I'm going to kill you

I was walking in this pedestrian precinct in the centre of Croydon and this young black guy deliberately shouldered me. Most people are going to get a surprise because I’m dense and short and you’re going to get knocked out the way.

This young thug, 18 or 19, maybe even younger, runs back towards me. Clearly it was an early attempt at a mugging because he didn’t really know how to do it.

This kid is a 60kg kind of guy, muscly and wide, and I’m be like 85kg, muscular, and it is like no problem. I am going to be nutting and punching and f***ing stuff like that.

This guy is trying to mug me and he’s got a little sharp thing. He’s going, ‘I’m going to knife you and kill you.’

I’m like, ‘Bloody hell son, and oh by the way – I’m going to kill you.’

But he’s black, and I worked for the Commission for Racial Equality. I let him go and he ran away and jumped on a tram. I hated myself for six months. I should have done him over. I woke up at night thinking, ‘You should have done him over.’
Spartacus will be a bit of a let down, on Monday night, after reading all that.

Walter Mitty's the only person that doesn't have anything on him.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by grahamston » Sunday 04th 2012f March 2012 12:41:17 PM

I'm being deadly serious when I say this: he must be a stick-on for the next Celebrity Big Brother. He's up there with Galloway, Sheridan and that Dundee Utd guy who set fire to the curtains in terms of notoriety.

This has gone beyond politics - it's showbiz. He needs an agent, and not the electoral kind. 200k for paintings, first-class plane fares and office equipment will soon seem like chickenfeed.

He could do celebrity boxing! Can you imagine it? "Live from the Mariner Centre: Eric Joyce v John Hughes!" I would pay serious, serious money for an evening out to watch that.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by russelllatapylegend » Sunday 04th 2012f March 2012 01:48:42 PM

Kiddy wrote:Dependant on the result in 2014, he might be finishing up 8 months early. :wink:
Nope.


If Scotland votes yes there will still be several years before succession.


It will take a very long time to negotiate a settlement. If Westminister plays hard ball it might never happen.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Kiddy » Sunday 04th 2012f March 2012 02:12:36 PM

russelllatapylegend wrote:
Kiddy wrote:Dependant on the result in 2014, he might be finishing up 8 months early. :wink:
Nope.


If Scotland votes yes there will still be several years before succession.


It will take a very long time to negotiate a settlement. If Westminister plays hard ball it might never happen.
Is that in a Bashir Al-Asad sort of way? :?

Remember, it's less than a hundred years since armoured cars were deployed in George Square. :roll:
Ten thousand troops armed with machine guns, tanks and a howitzer arrived on the Friday night and Saturday to occupy Glasgow's streets.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by geeo41 » Sunday 04th 2012f March 2012 04:03:20 PM

russelllatapylegend wrote:
Kiddy wrote:Dependant on the result in 2014, he might be finishing up 8 months early. :wink:
Nope.


If Scotland votes yes there will still be several years before succession.


It will take a very long time to negotiate a settlement. If Westminister plays hard ball it might never happen.
A yes vote will result in an independent scotland, if no agreement is reached then the below could happen.
Persuade the scottish regiments to defend a declaration of independence, and place them on the border and make the declaration, cross this border and we are at war with the country who crosses it. Ask nato for protection to back up what would be a democratic majority yes vote.
Cameron would not have a clue what to do.

Of course this is all tongue firmly in cheek, but it would be funny as feck... :mrgreen:

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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Kiddy » Friday 09th 2012f March 2012 01:46:57 PM

We've got him for another 3 years. :(
MP Eric Joyce has escaped jail after he admitted assaulting four politicians in a brawl at a House of Commons bar.

The former soldier headbutted Conservative MP for Pudsey Stuart Andrew at the Strangers' Bar.

The Falkirk MP also attacked Tory councillors Luke Mackenzie and Ben Maney, and Labour whip Phil Wilson, who represents Sedgefield.

Westminster Magistrates Court heard the 51-year-old later told police: "You can't touch me, I'm an MP."

The judge said he would not be imposing a custodial sentence.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Doctor Chist » Friday 09th 2012f March 2012 01:52:49 PM

Kiddy wrote:We've got him for another 3 years. :(
MP Eric Joyce has escaped jail after he admitted assaulting four politicians in a brawl at a House of Commons bar.

The former soldier headbutted Conservative MP for Pudsey Stuart Andrew at the Strangers' Bar.

The Falkirk MP also attacked Tory councillors Luke Mackenzie and Ben Maney, and Labour whip Phil Wilson, who represents Sedgefield.

Westminster Magistrates Court heard the 51-year-old later told police: "You can't touch me, I'm an MP."

The judge said he would not be imposing a custodial sentence.
Fingers crossed the Labour Party persuade him to 'do the right thing'. His position is untenable as far as most are concerned but whether he has the integrity to do it is another matter.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Kiddy » Friday 09th 2012f March 2012 01:55:29 PM

BBC wrote:He's been given a Community Order for 12 months & banned from licensed premises for 3.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Doctor Chist » Friday 09th 2012f March 2012 02:09:42 PM

One onlooker said his 'eyes looked like nobody was home'
Just a normal day for him then. :wink:
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by OffshoreBairn » Friday 09th 2012f March 2012 02:58:05 PM

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-s ... s-17310549

Only a 12 Month Community Order, banned from 'pubs' for 3 months, a £3k fine and £1400 costs :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: For 4 assaults!!!!!

Joyce shouted at the police: "You can't touch me, I'm an MP"
After sentence at Westminster Magistrates Court, Joyce said he intended to stay on as an MP.
He's pretty much been proved right then!!!!

What's the betting he'll claim it on expenses?????
Kerching!!!
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by lewis26 » Friday 09th 2012f March 2012 03:07:05 PM

I thought he said this:- http://youtu.be/NyEE0qpfeig
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by OffshoreBairn » Friday 09th 2012f March 2012 04:35:55 PM

lewis26 wrote:I thought he said this:- http://youtu.be/NyEE0qpfeig

YOU are Kiddy??? Aren't you :wink: :wink:
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Kiddy » Friday 09th 2012f March 2012 05:10:45 PM

OffshoreBairn wrote:
lewis26 wrote:I thought he said this:- http://youtu.be/NyEE0qpfeig

YOU are Kiddy??? Aren't you :wink: :wink:
Oh, oh, STOP! THIS is Hammer time.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Quidsin » Friday 09th 2012f March 2012 09:51:15 PM

Joyce to be expelled from Labour and become an Independent until the next elections. Waiting on his big payoff before eventually being voted out. I feel sorry for his constituents.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by grahamston » Saturday 10th 2012f March 2012 09:37:10 AM

On the other hand, unshackled from party loyalty, he has the chance to become a political hero by championing important local causes.

"The Eric Joyce East Stand."

I'm not proud.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by OffshoreBairn » Saturday 10th 2012f March 2012 10:08:55 AM

grahamston wrote:On the other hand, unshackled from party loyalty, he has the chance to become a political hero by championing important local causes.
Stop it!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Quidsin » Saturday 10th 2012f March 2012 12:11:42 PM

grahamston wrote:On the other hand, unshackled from party loyalty, he has the chance to become a political hero by championing important local causes.

"The Eric Joyce East Stand."

I'm not proud.
Maybe have that statement on the roof to ensure it's personalised.
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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by Spud Murphy » Monday 12th 2012f March 2012 06:41:04 PM

He's resigned from the Labour Party.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politic ... abour.html

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Re: wreckless eric....

Post by OffshoreBairn » Monday 12th 2012f March 2012 06:48:47 PM

Spud Murphy wrote:He's resigned from the Labour Party.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politic ... abour.html
As he'd already had the Party Whip removed, it is an empty gesture.
It just means he's now an Independent MP, answerable to Nobody apart from the Speaker until the next General Election, when he walks away with a nice little pension, not to mention all the loverly expenses in the mean time.

Be interesting to see if he actually spends any time in his constituency in that time????
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